Some of you may know that I wrote my first novel, Faithful Service, Silent Hearts based upon some of my experience in the US Army back in the days before DADT. I have always been extremely proud of my military service, even if my country at times was not proud of me—or more correctly of my homosexuality. I have always been humbled by the abject patriotism of those brave men and women, who, despite the prohibitions, have continued to serve in our military. Truly, their patriotism is astounding and above reproach. I mean, to serve in a military, willing to sacrifice one’s life for the rest of us, while your own relationship isn’t validated is a commitment of epic proportions.
I left the military because I realized that I wasn’t one of those folks. Maybe the universe had more for me to do, and I’d like to think that’s true. I reinvented myself as a law enforcement officer, and that has worked out pretty well for over 20 years. Service is still something I believe in, only now I do it on the streets of my hometown. There have been many long, thankless days, holidays missed with the family, heartaches, triumphs, but above all, satisfaction in this profession.
I am blessed to be part of a large family. Last year, one of my nephews decided to join the Marines. I was a bit skeptical when he first told me. In his whole life, I’d never pictured him doing anything like this. To be honest, I didn’t know if he had it in him. He wasn’t a bad kid, don’t get me wrong, I just questioned his mettle and resolve. Boy was I ever wrong.
A few days ago, I attended my nephew’s graduation from boot camp at Parris Island, SC. To see the transformation in him was nothing short of amazing. He had totally reinvented himself. Gone was the physically and mentally soft kid who had a smartass comeback for everything. In his place was a humble, but driven young man, fit in every way, ready to take on any challenge put before him. I was in awe of him as we walked the base and he regaled me with his stories. Many times, he’d start with, “Well, you know this, but…” Didn’t matter to me, I hung on his every word.
My wife and I spent two days at Parris Island with my nephew’s proud parents, his little brother, and grandparents. I was acutely aware that during several speeches, references were made to cultural diversity and respecting others. My brother and his wife have steadfastly supported my relationship, and being with them for this defining moment in their son’s life was precious. As we walked around the base on our privately guided walking tour, listening to his stories, I reached out to take my wife’s arm without thinking. We walked next to our nephew, the new Marine, who never batted an eye. He’s quite used to us by now, so that wasn’t the surprise. What moved me was realizing that it was no longer a taboo, even here in the middle of a military installation. Yes, public displays of affection by those in uniform, I’m certain are still not allowed. But for my wife and I, this wasn’t an issue. I realized at that moment that the repeal of DADT had finally reached me, 25 years after I separated from military service.
I don’t dismiss that there is more work to be done. GLBT service members still do not receive the same benefits as their married heterosexual peers. But, progress is unstoppable. A female Navy couple won the right to the first kiss on the dock after one returned from an overseas tour last month. Events like these big and small will soon become second nature. I’m glad that my nephew serves in such times. The US military has reinvented itself, and in doing so, has made itself a more welcoming place for GLBT military members—and their families.
Semper Fi, Buddy.